1....Assume your body (belly) is personal propery anymore. It's very much not and at times will be labeled with a "Touch/rub/talk to me, please" sign in bright, flashing, neon lights.
2....Be surprised when you wake up to find your husband either A) missing from the bed entirely and sleeping on the couch because of your squirming, barricade wall of pillows, incessant bathroom trips or newly acquired snoring habits (yikes!) -or- B) wrapped in a mummified cocoon, as seen below, thanks to newfound sleeping patterns with a pregnant woman.

3....Act like you're not clumsy or a bit "off your A-game" every now and then. You will spill things, trip and randomly lose your balance and this should not shock you. However, think of this is a lesson in childhood preparation and learning to clean up large, sticky messes quickly. See broken work computer and photo #2 below. Note my personal takeaway lesson: go ahead and invest in sippy cups. Though baby will not use them for several months, they would clearly benefit my current lack of grace and carefulness.
4....Attend a Ranger baseball game and practice your parenting skills with a bag of kettle corn. Don't try to hold, rock, feed it a bottle and/or nurse it. Don't slouch and pull your maternity stretch pants up over your shirt if you're uncomfortable in the stadiums new and tiny seats, either. You probably won't end up on the jumbotron but a five year old "Honey Boo-Boo" lookalike sitting in front of you WILL try to take pictures and you never know where those will end up.

5....Film your stomach in attempts to capture the movement or kicks you constantly feel and want to show others. It's pretty awkward to pull off filming yourself for that long without taking deep breaths that could potentially appear to be baby movement. Believe me, it will take you NUMEROUS attempts and the baby will inevitably always kick as soon as you stop filming. Then, once you DO capture what is to you a phenomenally miraculous moment, no one knows just how to respond when you text them the video along with an overly excited note: "I know it's suuuuper hard to see but JUST wait....at the 1:48, mark you WILL see a sliiiight up and down motion on the upper right hand portion of the screen. I promise it's there and it's not me breathing, just keep looking. SO COOL, huh?!" I'm telling you, it's best to keep these moments private and save yourself the potential tears of anyone not relishing in a video of what could easily pass for gas bubbles in your stomach for all they know.
6....Let shopping or planning for the baby and all the changes life will bring stress you out. Stop and take a minute to smell the roses. Utilizing a plastic hand crane of course.
7....Try and figure out the logical math behind a 1 pound baby causing weight gain in the double digits for you. It won't ever add up. And then, you just might have a conversation with a nurse while working and she will tell you that she only gained 18 pounds her entire pregnancy and lost it all 5 days after the baby was born. Your hormones might get to you and you might call her a name under your breath.
8....Let anyone - including the girl at the "To Go" counter - make fun of you for ordering copius amounts of food when you're staying alone in a hotel for work. If a half slab of ribs sound good to you.....then, they just DO. And you can't help that Chili's marketing finally got the best of your pregnant mind and appetite. (Not shown: chips & salsa and cinnamon apples...JK. But not really.)
If you have any doubts I will run out of TYPSDWP, have no fear. Though my journey is a little more than 1/2 way over, I anticipate plenty more tidbits to share to those expecting mama's out there in the upcoming months ;)